Ten Tiny Tigers Titillate Twenty Terrifyingly Turgid Old Men

Microsoft Windows.

90% of you use it. That’s right, I’m looking at YOU. Probably using XP, you wanker.

Up until yesterday, I have had the privilege of using Windows 7. While certainly an excellent operating system, I have come to an epiphany by way of hardware failure. Specifically, my mobo started failing, and rather than (to use a metaphor) drown like a rat, I grabbed a lifeboat (namely a pentium 3). Running at only 450mhz, I didn’t want to screw around with XP, so I downloaded and installed rusty, trusty windows 2000. And I was astounded by precisely how little had changed. Most of my favorite programs work on windows 2000. While I need a third party interface for my wireless card, all the hardware I’ve plugged into it has a driver somewhere. Essentially, I’ll be examining in this post what the fuck exactly Microsoft has changed.

We’ll start with what they’ve done right. Firstly, the 6.x kernel series is pretty boss. The new driver framework is significantly better (or so I’m told). And really, that’s all I can think of that warrants an OS change.

For instance, directx 10 and 11 are pretty fucking pro. However, i can’t think of a reason they haven’t been backported to the 5.x line except for the fact that Microsoft likes money. Aero is nice to be sure, but that’s just a matter of firing out an explorer update. Microsoft markets these updates as a new operating system, but really, for the most part these are all NT4 with a bit of extra makeup slapped on. Microsoft claims to be developing Midori, but we haven’t heard anything about that for years. Chances are it will end up the next Oslo, and Microsoft will keep whoring out the NT line until the old girl collapses under the weight of the collective consumer cock (I’m quite proud of that last bit).