Bachelor Recipes – “Stuffed” Potatoes

I love potatoes. They’re the best vegetable there is. And I’m gonna show you how to make awesome “stuffed” potatoes. The “stuffed” is in quotes because stuffing them implies removing potato to make room for filling. We’re not doing that here. That’s a waste of potato. Instead we’re gonna layer everything on top and microwave the shit out of it (or bake it if you’re pedantic)

6 medium potatoes
Cheddar cheese
2-3 rashers of bacon
a tomato
steak seasoning (optional)

About 6 medium-size potatoes
6 medium-size potatoes

Wash your potatoes and place them into a microwave safe dish

Put the potatoes in a microwave dish and seal the lid
don’t forget to seal them in tight.

Put them in the microwave for around 12 minutes. I’ve never had a potato explode, but if you have, prick them first. I don’t usually

cut up 2-3 rashers of bacon, and 12 slices of cheese (two per potato), and dice your tomato
stuff you’ll be layering onto your potatoes

Cut up your ingredients: dice the bacon and tomato, and cut about two slices of cheese per potato

once the potatoes are cooked, cut each one in half
cut each one in half

Once your potatoes are ready, slice them in half like so

place them on a plate like so
place them on a plate like so

Plate them up, add optional steak seasoning to them if you like

layer the bacon onto them. You can also put steak seasoning on the potato halves first before you put bacon on them if you like
layer the bacon onto them.

Layer bacon onto them.

layer the tomato on top
layer the tomato on top

Now layer the tomato on top of that

you want about 1 slice per half a potato
you want about 1 slice per half a potato

Start to layer the cheese over each potato, you’ll probably have leftover cheese after you cover everything

layer the remaining cheese on top
layer the remaining cheese on top

Just layer the rest of the cheese over what you’ve put down already

microwave for around 6 minutes
microwave for around 6 minutes

Microwave at high power in a 1000w microwave oven for about 6 minutes. You can probably bake or grill them too, and they should be as good if not better. This is the easy way, I like easy.


Plate and serve. These are super full of fat and salt, so they’ll probably give you a heart attack.


Song Rundown – China Girl, by Iggy Pop/David Bowie

This is my first article in some time, and it comes in the days after David Bowie’s untimely and very unfortunate death from terminal cancer. As I have been oversaturating myself with David Bowie music, I’ve been taking particular notice of the lyrics to the song China Girl.

When I first heard this song several years ago, I just assumed he had met a nice Chinese girl on one of his tours and formed a relationship with her. Only after looking into it more did I realise it was actually an Iggy Pop cover (of which David Bowie makes shine). It was also around this time I had a lung collapse and was given a tonne of IV morphine while they reinflated my lung. I’ve also been on prescription painkillers for a good deal of years. Now the song started making sense. The lyrics to the song are very clearly speaking about heroin.

Let’s start with the first two verses:

I could escape this feeling, with my China Girl
I feel a wreck without, my little China Girl
I hear her heart beating loud as thunder
When I look at my China Girl.

I’m a mess without my little China girl
Wake up in the morning, where’s my little China girl?
I hear her heart’s beating loud as thunder
Saw these stars crashing down

Heroin, also known as China White is an addictive substance that once stopped constant intake of, causes withdrawal symptoms. He is feeling a wreck, and in the second verse, a mess, without his little China girl. Heroin addiction can cause a rush of anticipation when a user knows they’re about to take another hit. Heroin addiction can also cause high blood pressure and increased heart rate, or palpitations when in withdrawal, hearing her heartbeat could be his heart not beating in proper rhythm.

Obviously, waking up in the morning after being high the night before, in the starting throes of withdrawal will have you searching for your drugs.

The stars crashing is the feeling of IV opiates making their way to the brain. Vision goes black and you “see stars” as it returns. In this instance however, he has not yet taken a dose. This feeling could allude to a sense of dread or depression at sobering up.

The third verse:

I feel tragic like I’m Marlon Brando
When I look at my China girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China girl

Feeling like Marlon Brando could mean he’s either feeling sorry for himself, or perhaps guilty. He is in the grip of an addiction, and isn’t sure how to pull himself away, he has drugs, he’s not going to just throw them away. He doesn’t care about anything else except getting his high. Nothing else means anything at that point. He must quench his ‘thirst’.

I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone
It’s in the white of my eyes

We will assume he took his heroin for this verse, everything is brighter, everything feels better, all is good.  Here I believe he feels bulletproof, he’s high and he’s king of the world. Some users inject into the whites of their eyes, but here I believe he’s in such ecstasy that his eyes have rolled back into his head. He’s probably lying on the floor off his face.

My little China girl you shouldn’t mess with me
I’ll ruin everything you are
You know I’ll give you television, I’ll give you eyes of blue
I’ll give you a man who wants to rule the world

This verse seems to talk about his constant use of the drug. The drug is addicting him, and he’s going to ruin the fantastic, fun, feel-good high by being addicted fully to it. To a constant user, shooting up is more like relief rather than feeling a high, causing frequent users to continually “chase the dragon” or up their doses looking for that “first rush” again. This often leads to an overdose.

And when I get excited
My little China girl says
“Oh baby, just you shut your mouth”
She says, “Shh.”

He’s in bliss and stupefied. Any higher and he’ll be dead. His heart rate has slowed, he can’t talk, just feel great. This could be after a second dose, or he could have overdosed.

If anyone has other ideas, feel free to drop a comment.