All posts by Sittingbear

Wishful Thinking

I want to put you on a pedestal,
so that I may sing to you high praises,
but I do not have the voice.
I want to tell you the greatness you bring,
so that I may know the joy you bring me,
but I do no have the words.
I want to pull you near and hold you tight,
so that you may share the peace I have found,
but I do not have you.


As I look over my shoulder
at the paths I have traveled,
I see the bridges I have crossed
are broken and fallen.

Over the long years
that which has not been intentionally burnt,
has succumbed to age and neglect.

I can look back at the ground I have covered,
but my only direction can be forward.
Searching for home,
searching for you.

Are you perennial, or annual?

There seem to be many people in life who live as if they were annual, they develop for a short period, spread their seed and die. Sometimes it is a slow death, waiting for death accelerated only by the toxins chosen. Sometimes the lack of growth prevents true strength, and they crumble and succumb to various pressures, and hasten their demise.

There also seem to be those who never stop their growth, through the years the fire they carry remains hot and vibrant. They never wait for death, death comes to them when it is time. To constantly grow is to have a certain degree of assuredness and an uncertain degree of doubt.

Like the tree, we have thick rings of great growth and thin rings of stagnation.

Unlike the tree, we can choose thick or thin. Which do you choose?


What is it about winter that causes people to be more thankful?
What is it about spring that makes people forget?

I find it very strange that starting around November, people become distant, yet friendlier; thankful, yet ungracious. In December people wish each other well, and some take a rare look inwards. And for a few weeks in January, they decide what they want in the new year.

Then, nothing.
We stop being thankful.
We stop wishing well on others.
We forget to strive for more.

Can we not be thankful year long? After all, we are alive all year, why do we not act like it? Is it so hard to recognize the contributions of others? We recognize that we would be unable to live our lives without the support of those who would give their time and effort to move food and goods for your pleasure and comfort… and yet, when we face such a person, we place ourselves on a pedestal. We are elevated. We are not them; we are not lower class, why should we care?

What is it about saying “Thank You” that makes it so tough to do? Why are such important words cast off and ignored?

I ask you now: Are you thankful? Have you given thanks to those who make your life possible?


In your mind you feel cold,
in your eyes you see frost.

In your mind you feel hot,
in your eyes you see waving air.

In your mind you feel the evil in the world,
in your eyes you see the blade penetrate your heart.

In your mind you feel love,
in your eyes you see love enveloping the world.

Which do you want?
Which do you choose?
Which do you see?

On Drowning…

Do those who have tasted death no longer fear it?

When I was very young, I drowned while in a pool with no lifeguard on duty. There was only one other person in the pool, and my grandma was on the side watching.

I don’t remember feeling any fear or anxiety about dying during or afterward. As it happened, the other swimmer happened to be a lifeguard.

Strange how things work out…

Life went on as usual, but somehow was more vivid. I became more observant. I remember watching trees and bushes move with the wind, not trying to understand, but to see it for what it was.

I feel like somehow this is part of why I don’t have the drive for material goods like most people do. I don’t see the point in collecting anything that will be gone when I am. Or at the very best, useless to have collected. I merely seek to be enjoyable. My grand ambition is to enjoy life.

I think I do alright.