Heres an article I’ve been thinking of random bits and pieces for over the week, so I’ve decided to compile them and post them. So here it is – 15 things to teach your kid as young as possible – the 15 kinds of things that should never go untaught. Ever.
1) If it ends up in the toilet, its gone forever. FOR. EVER.
2) Don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you. Assume everything that isn’t yours is full of spiders and KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED HANDS OFF IT.
3) Walking barefoot in sand will get you hosed the fuck down. With ice cold water.
4) Throwing your food on the floor at home, or the bin at school will get you 1: belted and 2: starved in your room until the next day.
5) Touching a dog and then touching food/other people warrants a hosing down also.
6) The computer is more valuable than you are. Remember this forever.
7) Drinking daddy/mummy’s beer/wine/bourbon while they’re not looking will get you 5 across the eyes.
8 ) Assume every adult you see is a paedophile (except your family, of course).
9) Playing in the kitchen will get you belted. Hard.
10) Playing with the telephone, or a mobile phone will get you double-belted, especially if either of them suddenly disappear.
11) Touching a toilet in any way warrants instant hand washing – with SOAP. NO EXCUSES.
12) Trying to get daddy’s attention while he’s playing videogames/watching a movie will see you locked in your bedroom until the following day.
13) Liars always get found out. Being dishonest will eventually get you belted really hard. It’s much better to tell the truth and accept a small belting up front, than getting found out in the future and being belted until sitting down brings tears to your eyes.
14) Hitting your mother will result in your father hitting you in a way that will teach you not to try that again.
15) Running amok in a shopping centre, or out in public where running amok is generally not acceptable, will result in you having the belting of a lifetime, which doubles in intensity per public outing you misbehave in. Wooden spoons may snap over your arse if belting intensity reaches certain heights.
Print these out and stick them on your fridge, or laminate them and give them to your kids. Make sure you follow through with the epic beltings though, or you’ll look soft, and everybody knows soft parents breed thugs, drug addicts, murderers and general scum!
EOF
There seem to be many people in life who live as if they were annual, they develop for a short period, spread their seed and die. Sometimes it is a slow death, waiting for death accelerated only by the toxins chosen. Sometimes the lack of growth prevents true strength, and they crumble and succumb to various pressures, and hasten their demise.
There also seem to be those who never stop their growth, through the years the fire they carry remains hot and vibrant. They never wait for death, death comes to them when it is time. To constantly grow is to have a certain degree of assuredness and an uncertain degree of doubt.
Like the tree, we have thick rings of great growth and thin rings of stagnation.
Unlike the tree, we can choose thick or thin. Which do you choose?
So, as I am a catholic, I am (at least nominally) required to give something up for the forty days before Easter, also known as Lent. So, it came down to 11:00 or so on the night of Fat Tuesday, and i still hadn’t come up with anything. A few minutes after this thought floated on through my head, I thought about precisely how much time I wasted dicking around on the Internet. And thus, an Idea was born. Fairly quickly I realized it was pretty much impossible to avoid it completely in this day and age, so I revised my proscription to what I deem the Big 3 (twitter, Facebook, and IRC). So, about halfway through now, I’ve decided to post my findings.
1) I’m reading a LOT more. I’ve read more books in the past three weeks than I have in most of the past year.
2) I spend less time on the Internet in general. While I haven’t completely stopped Internet-dicking-about, it’s reduced to reading technology blogs.
3) I’m reading far less webcomics, which is a combination of several things, but partially due to the lack of comic-related chatter on IRC.
4) My grades have not significantly improved. This further supports my conclusion that teenagers will find ways to procrastinate, even without the major time-wasters on the internet.
5) I don’t suck at StarCraft anymore. This could be related, or it could not be. However, it is something I have realized as the days have gone by.
In light of all this, I don’t think I’ll be staying away permanently. i would guess I’ll spend less time on facebook,at least in the time immediately following Easter, but I get the feeling I’ll still spend hours on IRC as soon as I’m able to.
Valentine’s Day. Where to start? I’ve never liked this “holiday”. I never have, even when I was in a relationship for it. I don’t understand anything about this day really, other than the history behind it. Which makes me wish I could find the newspaper article I wrote my sophomore year in high school…
No, it’s not because I’m single that I despise it (so don’t even begin to judge based on that), and no it’s not that I’m bitter or heartless. It’s the fact that everyone gets so caught up in this ONE day to go out of their way to show affection or whatever the crap they’re trying to show. So those of you who are quick to judge and say , “it’s just the single people that hate this holiday,” think again. It has always been just another day in the year for me to enjoy as I normally would. I can find several other friends of mine who are in relationships who would say the same as I just did.
You see guys (or girls) at the store lined up to buy roses, or little teddy bears with hearts on them, chocolates, whatever. That may be for some people, but it’s never been for me. In fact, when I was still working at the mall a few years ago on February 14th a coworker asked me nicely, “What are you doing today?” I responded, “absolutely nothing, it’s just another day.” Now keep in mind I did NOT sound angry about it or anything, I was just being honest about my plans. So he quickly and sharply responds with, “Wow someone’s single, or bitter!” Rude much? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
First off, any plants or flowers are just a bad idea for me. I DO NOT have a green thumb. I have normal skin colored ones, that don’t do anything except what thumbs are supposed to do unfortunately. I don’t remember to water plants. I don’t even remember that there are plants in my apartment if I buy them, which is why I don’t bother with spending money on them. What was brought to me in the hospital is an exception, although the dry air in there killed them pretty fast unfortunately. Hell, I don’t even remember to wear my glasses when I’m driving sometimes. I should considering I’m slightly nearsighted, and can’t see signs for where I need to get to when they are so far off in the distance (aka I won’t notice until I’m right about under that sign, and by then it’s too late). So I would feel bad if they died a few days after because I neglected them, and there’s about a 95% chance that WILL happen.
Second, I would lose something like a small teddy bear.I usually prefer gifts that are practical if I get anything at all, I love stuff that I can actually use, stuff that I can learn with, stuff that will actually entertain me, stuff that I can read…you get the point. Sure, it’s nice to get the random gifts every now and then that aren’t practical, but that stuff just ends up piling up, and becomes lost in the black hole in my apartment anyway after about a week.
Again, this is excluding the stuff I was given while in the hospital, because my mom was nice enough to create a space for them to sit on (thanks mom). Those are a completely different case because I was going through a hard time in the ICU when they were given to me. They have true meanings behind them rather than, “hey I just picked up this random thing for you from the store since i saw it on a shelf then remembered it was the 14th” type of deal.
Third, I don’t usually eat candy unless it’s around ‘that time of the month’ or I am a bit stressed. I loved it when I was a kid, but now that I’m older I’m worn out on it (candy) for the most part, so I end up wasting it (which would make me feel guilty). If I go on a binge I’d end up eating the whole box, feeling guilty again, and feeling it in my pants in the next few days when I try to button them as I’m getting dressed. Then I’d feel self conscious, depressed that I allowed myself to do such a thing, and beat myself up in my mind for not having better control. Yet again, all candy brought to my room while I was in ICU is a different case. Trust me when I tell you that I ate almost ALL of what showed up. I am not kidding, and that was A LOT of candy!
So part of what I’m trying to say is; even if I had a significant other right now I would NOT want them to spend any money on me just because of this day. It would be a waste when their money could have gone toward something better. If someone I was involved with felt like they had to buy my love, I would instantly feel like something was wrong in the relationship. I’m a pretty independent 22 going on 23-year-old woman, and I absolutely hate to feel helpless. I love to help others in any way I can, but I never expect anything back. I’m not royalty, I don’t expect things bought for me, and I don’t expect things done for me. So please don’t treat me like I am something to just spend your money on, because honestly it makes me a tad uncomfortable, and it definitely makes me feel weird. If you absolutely can’t handle this & feel you absolutely have to spend ANY money on me, then pay my rent for the rest of the year! Kidding… but help with a phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, or internet bill would be something I could and would appreciate more. That kind of stuff is practical, and when I’m not behind on payments it runs less than 30 bucks (excluding cell phone).
Finally! On to what I really just wanted to get out there with this post! Yes, it may be the thought that counts, and yes I am grateful for ANY gifts I receive no matter how cheesy, cheap, expensive, weird, big, small, fat, tiny, or color they may be. Yes, I’m glad to know people do love & care about one another, me, or some random stranger in the world. However, the thing that bothers me the most about all this is the fact that it is only focused on for one day out of the year. Why? Shouldn’t we be loving each other every day? Isn’t that why people get into relationships, or get married in the first place? You know, because they have feelings or love for each other anyway? Shouldn’t you do a little something for your other half no matter what day it is, say just because you felt like it, or felt they deserved it for being so awesome?
It’s not that hard to do something special for someone outside of this day, like maybe pick up their favorite ice cream from the grocery store while you’re out, help them finish something they may have been struggling with, pick up something from the store that they wanted, but couldn’t buy at the time, or spend a day just hanging out doing whatever they want to do. You’re obviously with this person for a reason, show them you love them every chance you that you can even if it’s not with material objects!
Okay, I’m still going. I’m just about done though, I promise! So hang in there!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying , “be a total pushover, and let people walk all over you.” Things are bound to go wrong if a relationship becomes one person always being the giver, and one person always being the taker instead of it being as close to 50/50 as possible. Although for me, as long as I am on the giving end at least a little bit more than 50% of the time I am content, and tons more comfortable. Yes, that has brought me into some bad situations before, but thankfully as I get older I’m at least getting a bit wiser, and know when someone is using me.
Same goes toward showing your family love too, they will always be the ones who around when nobody else is… or even when other people are! They are the ones who put up with you through your toughest times, and your toughest years (sure there may be exceptions in some cases), but never forget to tell them you love them either no matter what the day may be. You never know what’s to come, so always show your appreciation for those you care about when you can. I suffered a stroke back in January due to the AVM in my brain bleeding, and I will never take anything for granted again like simply being able to tell my family members that I love them whether it’s in writing or in text. Speaking of which, I LOVE MY PARENTS, SIBLINGS, AND ALL OF MY FAMILY! <3 ! EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR!
Oh! I would also like to add I LOVE ALL OF MY FRIENDS TOO!
What is it about winter that causes people to be more thankful?
What is it about spring that makes people forget?
I find it very strange that starting around November, people become distant, yet friendlier; thankful, yet ungracious. In December people wish each other well, and some take a rare look inwards. And for a few weeks in January, they decide what they want in the new year.
Then, nothing.
We stop being thankful.
We stop wishing well on others.
We forget to strive for more.
Can we not be thankful year long? After all, we are alive all year, why do we not act like it? Is it so hard to recognize the contributions of others? We recognize that we would be unable to live our lives without the support of those who would give their time and effort to move food and goods for your pleasure and comfort… and yet, when we face such a person, we place ourselves on a pedestal. We are elevated. We are not them; we are not lower class, why should we care?
What is it about saying “Thank You” that makes it so tough to do? Why are such important words cast off and ignored?
I ask you now: Are you thankful? Have you given thanks to those who make your life possible?
Quite often when I find myself taking an excessive amount of drugs, of any kinda, usually opiate based as I come down, I seem to experience some quite random auditory hallucinations. Nothing malicious, just random crap. Oddly enough, I usually hear these hallucinations in a female voice rather than a male, or my own voice. Sometimes the voice is high pitched like a young girl, and sometimes its deeper and more sincere like a middle aged woman. Its quite strange. But I still hear the very odd male voice every now and then.
So in this blog post i will list 20 of the sentences I have heard while hallucinating. Some are funny, some are bizarre and some are just plain fucking stupid. But its always fun to listen to them and write down what they are, so here it goes:
1. “Aww SWIMMING, SWIMMING! HOW ABOUT SWIMMING? Well, FISHING FISHING TOO”
2. “Terry can I buy you a drink?”
3. “Louise, Whats the number in a prime set?”
4. “I heard vegemite paste hit the window”
5. “Were the politics centre in the middle of the universe?”
6. “Smells like chicken *giggle*”
7. “Well then get rid of the eye, I hate it”
8. “Haircuts use Wonka cheese”
9. “I’m just terrified of old grey ladies”
10. “Wall decks, did you apply the wall decks? You’re quite silly”
11. “I couldn’t take your mum flowers, I just couldn’t. They’re made by Gypsies”
12. “What do you think? Sugar cube or sweetner?”
13. “*blabber*..and a few things come down to his surgical operation”
14. “You’re up early. Its 9pm and you’re up early. I’m drinking this wine”
15. “Just do it, go, take the high jump”
16. “Caffeine and coffee are the same thing bro, fentanyl is different by far”
17. “The shirt needs more colour in it, the shirt, needs more colour in it, it needs to be stabilised by a molecule”
18. “Princess Margaret might be driving a Rav 4 if she was still alive”
19. “The bed spreads on, I hope the pole doesnt collapse and crush the crinkle”
20. “If I set a date with a camera man….huh…uh….Spaghetti bolognaise”
And thats todays 20, stay tuned for another time in the next couple of days/weeks when I’m hallucinating again and decide to blog post about it.
Off into the wild blue yonder of drug fueled mental madness I go.
EOF.
Recently, I’ve begun to wonder how much of what we take for granted isn’t rooted in fact. If we look back even 100 years, what seemed like solid science then (Black people have smaller brains, anyone?) is now obviously, and hilariously wrong. It took them until the early 1900s to figure out that if you stick a vibrator in a chick’s vagoo she feels better. What got me thinking on this, is that until recently I thought Death Cab for Cutie was absolute shite. And then I actually heard one of their songs. And now I love their music. It makes me think about what other great music I’m missing out on. And then I got to thinking, what if it isn’t just music?
About a week ago I heard a negative review of Gnome Shell (Gnome Shell is the window manager planned to be released with GNOME 3). I watched a video and thought it looked pretty cool. So i installed ubuntu 9.10, installed gnome shell, and fired it up. And i swear to god it is the coolest thing ever. When it is finished, I honestly can’t say I’ll use anything else. And previously, I’d sworn off all things Linux forever. With good reason, too. Gnome 2 is absolutely awful when compared to osx leopard and windows 7.
Take from it what you will.
If you are like me, you too are almost good enough. You have a dream. You have goals. And right now, you are not making real progress. You are surviving.
If you are like me, they told you that you could be anything you set your mind towards… and then never lifted a finger to help you find your calling; only two shoulders and raised palms from shrugging off the question nobody can answer for you.
If you are like me, you have squandered opportunities some would kill for. Not necessarily through carelessness, although that played a part. But because you didn’t know any right way to succeed… or where to turn for answers.
If you are like me, you’ve found an entry-level position with a soul-crushing company. Perhaps it’s not even your first. But you aren’t worried about finding anything better… not really. Not anymore.
If you are like me… you have lost that spark of hope. That belief that life can be better. It’s not because the news is horrible, though that is a piece of it. It isn’t even that you don’t make a difference in the world… because you do, in small ways, in personal ways… although it’s not enough.
I lost that spark of hope in four pieces. I failed college. I lost a job. I couldn’t learn to write a novel in two years time. I was passed over for promotion at a temp job so someone less competent, but younger, could turn to me for questions about the job I should have.
You may have lost it in other ways. But you are like me in more ways than you would like.
Someday… we will do something about it.
For today, we survive.
Have you ever wondered the things your eyes have seen, when they weren’t your eyes? The atoms that build them flowing through the universe since the begining of time, or if time is non-linear – infinitely. The star they were born in is long dead by now, and they’ve been everywhere throughout the universe, your eyes have seen everything. Yet they can not show you what they have seen, for they can not percieve their surroundings. Unlike yourself. You’ve been lucky enough to have been born as an organism. A piece of the universe, like the stars and the planets, but with absolutely no explanation of your existence. If the atoms you were built from could show you what they have seen, could you percieve it? Would your capacity to understand and to interpret their reality be advanced enough to process the infinite stream of information tied to the atoms? Are we as a part of the universe old enough to even begin to understand the reason for anything? An infinite amount of human races in an infinite amount of universes, all having pondered the purpose for our existence, yet no conclusive cause exists. Do we even want to know? And would knowing make us better for it?
Just something thats been buzzing in my head for a few days. I think I’m going mad, but that might be fun. Who knows?
EOF
I wander into
A room full of people who
Know him but not me
It takes a village
The old proverb tells us
But that’s subjective
I go out walking
And stop and smell the roses
What else do you want?
It smells like urine
In the park you don’t go to
The homeless folks park
To exist or not?
Raised by hamlet, who really
Has the right answer
Where are your weapons?
The general asks us poor
We can’t afford them
To look into the
Depths of another mans soul
Is not for the weak
Tread lightly around
Lions and Tigers and Bears
During the winter